Kids are annoying

Controversial subject time.

I'm in my late 30s. I don't have kids. I don't want kids. This places me in the minority.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like kids, I will tolerate them, even entertain them. In small doses. I've got friends and relatives with kids from a few months old to teenagers. I'll talk to them, I'll humour them, I'll be nice to them, I'll even try and teach them something useful from time to time if I'm ever in the company of one for more than a few minutes.

Parenting seems to have changed so much in a generation. Of course I appreciate that kids are the most precious thing in their lives, but at what cost? Do parents really have to put their adult lives virtually on hold? I remember having toys and stuff; I remember going to the occasional birthday party. But what I don't remember is my parents letting me turn their entire house into a cross between santa's grotto and a branch of Toys R Us, complete with Disney DVD blaring out of the telly ALL THE TIME. What is going on with some parents these days? Here's a tip for you parents - if all you ever do, all the time, is scurry about looking after every single whim and wish of your offspring, never saying no to them, not only will your kids become horrible spoilt bastards with limited social skills and a sense that the world owes them everything on a plate, but you yourself will become a very boring adult indeed.

When I meet a friend/colleague, of course I ask how they are, how their family is - it's polite, and I'm genuinely interested. But you know what, I tend to avoid asking that question to anyone that's got young kids. For many of them, it seems to be a green light for them to crap on and on and on about what little timmy has done this week. ACTUALLY, I'M NOT REALLY THAT FUCKING INTERESTED.

My pet hate at the minute is parents of kids that let them run riot in public. Jesus christ!!!! Get a grip of them will you?! Christmas shopping is stressful enough without having to put up with irresponsible, rude, selfish parents who seem to think that the rest of us don't mind that their little darlings are charging about in restaurants, coffee shops, on public transport, wherever, causing havoc and screaming the place down. If you're a parent, you have RESPONSIBILITIES. Step up to them will you. If your kids are behaving terribly, it makes YOU look bad.

Here's another one. Parents get it laid on a fucking plate in the workplace. Example:

Person A is a parent of two twin boys. The boys are in their school nativity play. Person A would love to go and watch them star on stage, but works a 9 to 5 job and the play is during the afternoon.

Person B has no kids. They are getting a new sofa delivered sometime between 12pm and 5pm.

Can you guess which person got the time off at the drop of a hat, no questions asked, and which person got their time off begrudgingly after a gestapo-style Q&A session, and had to make arrangements to make the time up? Honestly, I'm all for allowing parents to continue to work but for fucks sake it would appear to me that there's positive discrimination going on here.

Even the government are at it. Every time I hear the term "hard working FAMILIES" I scream at the telly. How about "hard working PEOPLE". Family or not, I've still had the same rises in fuel & food costs, I'm still feeling the pinch of the current economic downturn. Tax breaks for parents?! Do me a favour..... how about tax breaks for people who choose not to contribute to the fact that the western world is already massively over-populated? We are the ones doing the world a favour, not those that are breeding like rabbits.